owning your struggles
- Jaime Wieland
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- Nov 5, 2023
- 2 min read
Throughout life, we interact with countless individuals, each bringing their perspectives, experiences, and energies into our orbit. While these interactions can be enriching, they can also become burdensome, especially if we grant undue power to others over our well-being. Letting someone be the driving force behind your struggles is a dangerous game, for it's a double-edged sword. If they're the source of your challenges, then inadvertently, they might also become the source of your strength.

The Mental Toll of External Dependencies
Emotional Exhaustion: Continuously reacting to others' actions or opinions can be mentally draining. It's like being on an emotional roller-coaster, dependent on another's whims.
Loss of Self-Identity: When others become the crux of our struggles, we risk losing sight of who we are. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions start reflecting their influence more than our authentic selves.
Perpetual Stress: Living in perpetual responsiveness to someone else means we're always on edge. This stress can lead to sleep disorders, anxiety, and other health concerns.
Turning the Tide: Regaining Control
Self-Reflection: Regularly introspect on your feelings and reactions. Ask yourself: "Am I feeling this way because of my core beliefs, or is this a reflection of someone else's influence?"
Boundaries: Establish clear emotional and physical boundaries. Decide what you will and won't tolerate. Communicate these boundaries assertively.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or professionals. External perspectives can provide clarity and validation when you're struggling to detach from influential individuals.
Empowerment Through Knowledge: Read books or articles about emotional dependency, assertiveness, and self-worth. Knowledge can be the first step towards empowerment.
The Paradox: Struggle vs. Strength
If you've anchored your struggles in someone else, you might find yourself inadvertently seeking strength from the same source. This dependency cycle can be hard to break. Why? Because once someone has a hold on our vulnerabilities, it becomes tempting to look to them for validation and support. It creates a loop where the very person causing turmoil also becomes the solace.
To quote the renowned psychologist Dr. Wayne Dyer, "How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." This profound statement encapsulates the essence of personal power. The onus is on us to decide whether we derive our struggles or strength from external sources.
Conclusion
Remember, every individual is on their unique journey, and it's essential to chart a path that resonates with our inner truths. While external influences are inevitable, turning inwards and grounding our strength in our authentic selves can lead to a life of balance, clarity, and genuine happiness. It's not about shutting the world out but about ensuring that the world doesn't dictate our inner peace.
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